Great coaches tell the truth. The truth makes great coaches. Love out loud.
I am going to bust up a coaching myth. Long told story is that coaches do not give preferential treatment to any of their players. Some will say that good coaches will treat his best player and his worst player the same. The idea comes from the belief that team rules should apply to everyone. Let me put my two cents on the table.
It is not true.
Great coaches have something in common. The truth. Any coach who has the freedom to tell his players the truth has the freedom to make coach them to greater. Any coach who wants the freedom to eliminate nonsense and chaos has to be able to tell the truth. Without that freedom, the coach will spend too much of his time dancing around egos, lies, distractions, and tears.
The truth is freedom to spend time wisely and honestly. The truth is the freedom to say things exactly as they are no matter who the people are who are involved in it. That freedom allows for my time to be spent on the task at hand. Making the players better, making the team better, and making the humans better.
Let me tell you about those favorite players. Ready? The are not always who you might think they would be. They are not always the best athlete, the best player, or the player with the parents who have the most money.
A coach’s favorite is the kid who he can tell the truth. The kid who wants to know what the coach needs for him to hear rather than what the player wants to hear. A favorite is the player who listens and hears. A favorite is a player who understands that truth is the greatest talent any player or coach can have. It allows so many good things to happen in the small window that is available to do so. The favorite allows the coach to TRUST.
Who does the coach trust? The player who is prepared. The player who is ready, The player who cares about what the coach cares about. The player committed to the team rather than themselves. The player who honors the process, respects the drill, appreciates the lessons, and actions accordingly. The player trusted is the player whose actions match his words. Trust is bestowed on the player who ignores chaos, defeats the distractions, and is undefeated against laziness.
When a coach knows that a player knows the plays, understands the plays, and will execute the plays, he gets trusted. When a coach knows that the player actions in character, efforts academically, is aware socially, and excels in the community, trust is the reward, and favoritism is earned. Not granted. Earned.
The same can be said for parents. See above. Honesty and trust play a big part in the inclusion and proximity of trust. The more the parent understands that time is given based on intent and action, the simpler the relationship becomes. And, more trusting.
So there you have it.. There are favorites. It is rarely about talent or size or stats. It is about TRUST. It is about honesty. It is about love. Care about the process, honor the process, and be true in it and to it, and favor will follow.
I am pretty sure that I just described most coach elected captains. They may not be the best players, but they are certainly at the front of the class and most likely to succeed. They probably will turn in to some pretty amazing coaches one day.
Action in love. Love in action.